This week you can pick from Liam Neeson (and a pack of wolves), a man on a ledge, and Katherine Heigl playing a bond girl. But not that kind of Bond girl.
The Grey
Men, did you know it was still possible for you to be an action hero movie star in your early 60s? That's right. Liam Neeson, nobody's idea of virile and strapping, is facing off against a pack of wolves—yes, really!—in this week's big offering, The Grey. Neeson, a fine character actor, is stuck (in this movie) and in the Alaskan wilderness with a stranded oil rig crew who must battle against a pack of ferile, hungry, and terrifying wolves. Just about everything in the premise is preposterous—wolves are not bloodthirsty, and you would die instantaneously in an Alaskan winter where it is currently 2 degrees Fahrenheit, without a massive amount of heavy winter clothing. But believability never stopped a Hollywood filmmaker before, so why start now?
Perfect For: People who want pure escapism that will give them nightmares about the family dog when they go to sleep.
What the Critics Say: Are you sitting down? It's not awful! Writes the Arizona Republic: "The Grey is a meat-and-potatoes movie about manly survival—red meat and whatever kind of potatoes imply macho." Variety is even kinder: "Impressively lensed by Masanobu Takayanagi on aptly rugged terrain in British Columbia, The Grey is thoroughly persuasive in its depiction of desperate men battling unforgiving elements."
Our Take: We want to forget that it's winter, not be reminded about how freezing it is outside. Maybe a Netflix.
Man On A Ledge
There's a newish trend in Hollywood these days that involves using the plot summary as the name of the movie. So you can surmise from the title of Man On A Ledge that it is about, yes, a man (played by Sam Worthington of Avatar fame with a bad haircut) on a ledge. Worthington's character has been framed for a diamond heist, and in an attempt to clear his name, he climbs on top of a building in New York City so that he can get everyone's attention, even as the bad guys are trying to kill him. Major movie stars are in this pic, including The Closer's Kyra Sedgwick, Ed Burns, Anthony Mackie, and Elizabeth Banks.
Perfect For: Fans of a fast-paced high-wire thriller.
What the Critics Say: Rotten to the core, with only a 9% Rotten Tomato meter reading. Ew, that's bad. Writes Variety's Justin Chang: "This cloddishly contrived suspenser is too busy to bore, but too farfetched to thrill."
Our Take: We'd rather see The Grey.
One For The Money
Late January is where they send bad movies to die. Katherine Heigl, once America's new sweetheart, is now second fiddle to Elizabeth Banks and Rachel McAdams, and so must make do with parts like this—that of Stephanie Plum, an unemployed New Jersey gal who turns to bond collecting as a source of income. Of course, the bad guy she must collect is a super hottie (Jason Mara) who's worth $50K, because we must find a way to work romance in this thriller/comedy.
Perfect For: Ladies who like a little love and laughs mixed in with their rootin', tootin', shootin'.
What the Critics Say: Nothing, nada, zilch, since it's not being screened for critics. Which is not a good sign.
Our Take: Hope to fall asleep while watching in on an airplane.
